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Dear Mom,

Now that September's over, I can stop quoting Billie Joel's "Wake Me Up When September Ends." His live version on the Stand Up 2 Cancer show breaks my heart every time. It would break yours too. It made me think of you in more ways than I'd like to admit. Now though, it's October, and there's even more Cancer stuff on TV and in radio and internet ads. While my initial anger at Cancer is starting to wane a little, the pangs of hurt I feel with these ads makes me miss you very acutely.

I had my first dream of you in a long while today. It was a dream I didn't DIDN'T want to wake up from. I'm really sad and sorry I did. I was having fun hanging with you. The dreams are bittersweet--you are both here and not, and I was relieved to dream of you.

Right now I've been feeling like I can't remember your voice. I know it's crazy, but I wish I could still physically call you. That would really make my day, frankly. That'd make my life, if I could talk to you again. I still talk to you in the car sometimes. You'd be super proud of me for driving Willy around. I've been doing really well with it. You'd also be proud of the work I did today. It was really good.

I'm not sure what else to do with myself. There are a few things in the works that I think will be wonderfully great, especially if they work out. I'll tell you more about them when the time comes. I want to say too, Mom, that I'm glad you are able to see all the fall colors from the best seat ever. I'm pretty jealous.

I'll write more later, Mom. ILU.

I love you, forever and always.

Love,
Christy