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Dear Mom,

I'm sorry there has been so much silence from me the last few weeks. Life has been rather tumultuous the last few weeks. At the start of November I got a new job, working full time. You would have been so proud of me for that. I had really been struggling there and I wanted to talk to you to say that and to hear that you believed in me and were proud. I know you are, even if you can't tell me.

My life since then has been a juggling act that I had had problems dealing with. Stuff is too crazy. Always too crazy. People still miss you. I still miss you. I think you're still around sometimes because I've been dreaming of you more in the last two or three days. It is kind of nice. And I'm feeling good about you, but I still wish you were here.

I'm feeling quite sick with a bad cold. I want to call you and say "how to fix this." "how can I make myself feel better?" I want my mom when I'm sick. I wish that you could be here with me because there is so much I want to talk to you about. So much I want advice about. I still miss you too much.

Dad is having a hard time. He says things like "I'm glad that other people are having fun." I worry about him. I worry about everybody. There is so much that I have to do and things. I just can't help but miss you so acutely, so intensely.

I have to stop writing for a bit, Momma. I love you a lot but right now this is too hard. What I'll say for now? I wrote about 15,000 words for NaNoWriMo about you. It's the best stuff I think I've ever written. And that's saying something.

I love you, forever and always.

Love,
Christy